12 weeks

Dear Tater Tot,

Seriously, you are 12 weeks old today.  I am in shock.  You are doing wonderful and we couldn't be happier with our little spud.  You seem to be growing at a good pace (just hit 11lbs!) and you've finally given us some consistent smiles.... It is amazing to watch you watch us and react!  Just amazing.

You seem to really enjoy Noodles, and she enjoys you. She insists on being wherever you are and desperately wants to lick your whole body, especially your face.  You enjoy the body licks, but once she goes for the face, you aren't pleased (neither is Mommy quite frankly).  She especially loves bath time, and you do too.  She leaps around the bathroom while you are in the tub, trying to get a good look at you in there, but her favorite time is cuddle time after the bath.  We all head into the bedroom and wrap you in towels while she tries to cuddle up to keep you warm, and lick you.  You giggle the whole time.

Christmas is in two days, your first.  I really wanted to take you to see Santa, but quite frankly the idea standing in line at the Macy's on 34th Street with 10,000 tourists to sit on Santa's lap gives Mommy an aneurysm.  So, we will do a Santa picture next year!

We are headed to California to meet your Grandpa right after Christmas.  This will be the first Christmas since Mommy moved to New York 14 years ago that I haven't made it home for Christmas day... but life with a new baby made that harder than normal, but no big woop, we will be there right after and Grandpa and your Aunts are going to recreate Christmas so we can celebrate together.  Speaking of.... we are going to take a plane 3000 miles to get there and that has Mommy a  little nervous.  I think we are prepared, but we shall see how it all goes!

In the past few weeks we have also started a "routine".  I didn't really know we needed to do this, but all of the books said it was important, so we are giving it a shot.  We are working on a solid bedtime routine to help get you down for longer periods of time (you can sleep from 4 to 5 hours at night, which I hear is good).  We are also working on a bit of a day time routine that is supposed to help when you go to daycare next month... that routine has less structure, but we are working on it!

You are the light of our lives little spud, we can't wait to see what happens in the next month.

xo,
Mommy

The Pack is not complete without the Fur Baby.

The last few days have been difficult.  Noodles, the light of my life, my first baby, started having seizures two days ago.  She is such a little lover that when she would have them, she would stumble over to me or The Husband and try to crawl onto our laps, while her legs were giving out under her.

The Husband took her to the Vet yesterday and they ran some tests which came back normal.  This morning, she had a really bad seizure and couldn't walk.  I gathered the Tot, still in his jammies, and put him in the stroller.  Noodles couldn't walk, so I pulled out her travel crate, put her in there and then ran out the door.  While running up Broadway with Noodles in her crate, I had to steer one handed along the bumpy sidewalk.  I must have looked like a crazy woman crying, without a jacket on (its cold, as I quickly found out) driving a screaming baby in the stroller with a seizing pup in her carrier.

So, Noodles has been admitted to the Pet Hospital for observation overnight.  I am beside myself.  She truly is the sweetest dog I have ever known, and she is my little fur baby.  She wouldn't hurt a fly... well, unless it was flying near her head and then she might try to catch it, but that's it. When she is having a seizure, which we are so shocked by, she looks at us with her big trusting eyes and just wants love.

I am home with The Tot, and the pack just isn't complete with Noodles at the Hospital....

Wanna play?

When The Tot hangs out on his little activity mat... Noodles gets very excited.  She runs to her crate, where all of her toys are stored and roots around to find her favorite... then she runs back to the mat and drops the toy next to The Tot and waits.  When she gets no reaction, she runs back to her crate, gets a new toy, leaps back to the mat and drops it near the baby again.... after no reaction she repeats until a huge pile of toys is near the baby.  It is hysterical to watch... I think she wants him to play with her.  Here she is above with her favorite toy, the giraffe.... the game has begun!

...... A half an hour later.....

Here is a picture after she has given up... her toys left, waiting to be thrown. Poor Noodles, if only she realized that once the Tot figures out she is there, she is only going to get her ears pulled... 

Keeping track

Before the Tot came along, I had heard that I should create a baby tracker or download one on my phone. Every mom needs a way to track when baby eats, poops, pees and other important items.  I downloaded the popular Android app, Baby Care, and figured that would do the trick when baby arrived.

Once the Tot made his early arrival and spent a couple of weeks in the NICU, we realized how important this would be.  We watched as the nurses took copious notes about all of the Tots bodily functions and it was very helpful each time would would arrive at the hospital to see what had happened during the hours we weren't next to his isolette.  So, when we finally took him home, instead of using the app I had downloaded, we mimicked the chart in the hospital.  As it turned out, it was much easier to keep track on the spiral notebook than an app, since both the Husband and I were feeding, changing and giving medicine - we didn't have to wake the other one up to ask when the Tot had eaten last, we could just look at our home made chart.

I really don't think we were prepared for the limited brain function because of sleep deprivation....  Trying to keep track of when he ate, when we gave him his medicine, when I pumped, when he pooped... it was exhausting.  We also incorporated a bit of Noodles information in there as well.  As it turns out, Noodles got sick the day after I went into labor and in the midst of me and the Tot being in the hospital, the Husband had to make a quick trip to the Vet.  So, Noodles was on medication as well, and we were tracking her poops too... so that got added to the Notes Section of our chart.

We were somewhat criticized for keeping this chart, people didn't understand the necessity.  They were confused, why not just feed him when he was hungry, why write it down?  Well, it is hard to explain exactly why.  We were (still are) tired and the days blend together in and endless loop of crying, feeding, pooping etc.  So writing it down gives structure to the day.  I recommend it to all new parents.  It gives you confidence that baby is getting enough to eat, that they have in fact pooped regularly, that they are thriving.  You have proof that things are steadily moving forward rather than a confusing fog surrounding having a new baby.

Here is a snapshot of our chart... it has morphed from a huge spiral notebook that we happened to have, to a new smaller more compact, specifically dedicated to the Tot notebook.

 

Packing up the newborn outfits, moving on to bigger diapers

I can't believe that this last weekend, while the Tot is now 10 weeks old, I packed up the newborn clothes!  He had grown out of them.... I am happy and sad at the same time.  Happy that he is thriving and growing, but sad that my little Tot is growing into a spud and can no longer wear the wee-one clothes!

Check out the progress the Tot has made!
                                                                 From week 1 to week 10......

The Mysterious Case of the Shower

When I was pregnant, I read a lot of books and blogs.  about pregnancy, breastfeeding, childcare and yoga with your baby.  In a lot of these books and blogs they mention how hard it is to shower.  Not the act of showering itself I think, but the ability to take time to shower.  I was very concerned about this fact.... was mothering a newborn so hard that you couldn't even shower?  I couldn't imagine how that would be...  If you know me, I love to shower.  I love baths, pools, hot tubs, lakes oceans, streams... I love water and I also like being clean.  So the idea that I wouldn't be able to shower was very troublesome indeed.

So, here we are, and The Tater Tot is officially 10 weeks old and I can tell you that I have not yet missed a shower.  I shower every morning, and I take a full shower... So I started to wonder, who are these women who can't seem to shower and why?

I think it is all about priority.  I was in the park the other day, sad because I had no time to run, and then a woman zoomed past me with her baby, a very new baby, in a running stroller.  Over the weekend, I left The Tot with The Husband and went shopping and thought to myself that I would love to be able to get out during the week and run errands, and then a woman whizzed past me with a thousand shopping bags and her baby in a sling.  So, while I can't be sure whether those women were showered, I know I was.  So, it really is just a matter of what you find important.  I need to shower in order to be a successful mother... other mothers need other things.

So, how do I shower every day?  Well, I have a great husband who makes time during his morning routine to make sure I have a moment to shower. (he also makes sure there are clean bottles, groceries in the kitchen and dinner made if I need those things).  I also just time it right.... some days, after the Tot eats, he sleeps, so I put him in his bouncy chair, and then I bring the bouncy chair into the bathroom with me.  The sound of the shower (and even the sound of the hair dryer) seem to calm him anyway, so he sleeps through my shower.

So, mystery solved I guess.  Now, I guess I will try to figure out how to exercise... or not.

Expectations. What to expect.... blah, blah, blah.

I am learning to adjust my expectations.  It is not easy for me to do, but I don't have much choice.

I really wanted to breastfeed the Tot.  I believe 'breast is best'... I have not been bullied into believing that from other mothers, no doctor has insisted, I just believe it is best, so that is what I wanted to do.  But sometimes, I am learning, you can't.  There are a lot of reasons that I don't seem to be able to breastfeed, and I recite them over and over to convince myself that I am not a failure, but I guarantee you, the first time the Tot has an ear infection, I am going to blame myself.

I repeat this list over and over..... it helps now, but I imagine it won't always. 

1.  The Tot was born premature, whisked off to the NICU and was given formula before I was able to produce my own milk. He was hungry and couldn't wait.

2.  I had a "placenta problem" that I don't like to remember or discuss.... so I was given morphine after his birth and wasn't able to breast feed or pump for almost 12 hours.

3.  He likes the bottle nipple better...
4.  I was severely anemic for a week after the Tot was born.  The doctors wanted to give me a blood transfusion, which I denied, hoping for a more natural, nutritional solution.

4.  I had to commute from home to the NICU for 17 days while trying to breastfeed, and pump and take a subway and and and....

So, expectations?  out the window.

I feel like I tried everything, and logically I know I did.  I met with lactation consultants, I took a breastfeeding class at the hospital for mom's with preemies, I pumped every two hours, I ate lactation cookies, I drank lactation tea, I drank gallons of water, I took fenugreek pills, I was patient with the Tot, I was patient with myself.... I had wonderful support from the Husband, friends and family.  I just couldn't produce enough milk.  The Tot did get all of the milk I did produce, and the nurses at the NICU said that he really did get a lot of my milk, especially for a preemie, but it wasn't enough. And then, well, it just went away, no matter what I did to try to keep in flowin'.

I also wanted to cosleep, and pack cute baby clothes to take to the hospital, and prepare my boss and co-workers for my maternity leave, and decorate a nursery, and well... just finish the prep for the Tot, but none of that happened and sometimes I mourn for that loss.  The loss of week 34 through 40 in my pregnancy.  I like to plan things, I like to make lists, I like to know what is coming and plan for it, but I couldn't.  

I know, I know... The Tot coming early, totally healthy, is such a blessing.  And I am blessed.  He is amazing, and we are adjusting our expectations.  But sometimes I am sad and I mourn the loss of those last 6 or 7 weeks of pregnancy.  It is a strange roller coaster of emotions when you have a preemie baby, which I am sure is exacerbated by hormones being all outta whack, but I was quite unprepared for that roller coaster. I hate being unprepared. 

So, we move on from breast feeding, from co-sleeping, from the shock of the delivery.... I move on, I give myself permission to move on.  The Tot is thriving and I can adjust my expectations and move on.

8 weeks old

Dear Tater Tot,

You are 8 weeks old and I can't figure out where the time went.  We had our two month appointment with your pediatrician this week and you are now 9 lbs 13 oz and 22 inches long!  What? For a preemie, you are now in the 90th percentile.... you continue to prove that you are a champion!  

You lost a lot of your dark hair in the first couple of weeks you were born, but you are growing new hair, which seems much lighter, even redish, we can't wait to see what color it will be and what your eyes will settle at.  Right now your eyes look hazel.  

We really couldn't be happier with you.  You are very funny when you eat.... you are a very vocal guy and you hum when you eat.  It makes me giggle every time.  You also hum and seem to babble in your sleep... We sing to you all the time, so we assume you are just singing with us.  

We love you so much little guy and we can't wait to see how the next month goes!

love, 

Mommy

Today's lessons

Things that DO NOT wake up the baby:
1. Noodles barking when she hears.... anything.
2. The neighbor moving furniture all day long above us.
3. The piercing sound of the fire alarm when it goes off after I burn toast.
4. Fire Engine as it drives right by the apartment.

Things that DO wake up the baby and elicit screaming:
1. The tiny creak of the floor as I walk away from crib.
2. The sound of me breathing.
3. The sound of me leaving the room... I am not sure if this is really a sound, but it wakes him up.

I am not sure what the lesson really is, except.... sleep is good, awake is bad  - for me, not him. Awake and sleep are both good for the Tot.  More sleep is good for me.

November 15th

Today is my due date. 
The Tot is 6 weeks and 4 days old.
Today feels a bit surreal.  I am overwhelmed with love for this little Tater Tot, and I can't believe that six weeks has already passed!  He is growing every day and we think a real smile is right around the corner.  He is just such an agreeable little guy, we could not be happier with him!

Things I've learned this week

• You can go 10 to 15 years without watching General Hospital and catch up in less than a week.  Some of the actors have changed (although not too many) but the characters are the same and they are doing the exact same things.
• The news is endless... seriously it never stops and it is the same story over and over and over again. 
• There is a show called The Chew and the name is so strange to me, I am afraid to see what it is about.
• When The Tot eats, Noodles heads to her bowl and eats too.  Don't know why... but I guess she wants to participate.  
• Poop can travel.
• 3am is the best time to respond to emails, the day goes too fast, but the night goes really slow. 
• I want to live somewhere that has a washer and dryer. 
• There are three types of people.  Those that notice I have a tiny baby strapped to my chest.  Those that notice Noodles and her cute sweater, and those that don't notice either and run into you. 
• If you don't feed a baby exactly when they want food, they will scream, really loud.

Don't Panic

The sign in the triage room at the hospital said "Don't Panic" and we couldn't help but laugh.  We were pretty close to the panic stage.   We had been watching the Presidential election results when I noticed that The Tot seemed hot.  He was fussy all day, so I had been a tiny bit concerned, but once I took his temperature I was very concerned.  It topped out at 100.6 which is .2 over the danger zone according to our pediatrician.  So, we called and were told to head to the ER.  This felt oddly reminiscent of the night I went into labor, but this time we were sleep deprived.

The problem was, we weren't totally convinced that our forehead thermometer was that accurate.... but off we went to the ER, which in Manhattan means packing him in his car seat, running down the street and hoping there is a cab.  ugh.

So it appears as if the thermometer was in fact slightly faulty, and although he was in the 99.8 range, he was not in the danger zone.  After being totally freaked out by the doctor discussing blood work and spinal taps, he decided to just observe the Tot for an hour.  So we waited.... until almost 4am until they finally sent us home.

So after a follow up trip to the Doctor and a crash course in rectal thermometers, we are ready for a nap.  The Tot is fine, The Husband is wonderful but tired, the Noodles is on high alert, and the Mommy needs to sleep.  Next shopping trip.... to get a new thermometer, this one sucks.

4 Weeks Old * post delayed a week

Dear little Tater Tot,

This week you are 4 weeks old.  I am amazed by that, since I am supposed to be 37 weeks pregnant right now!  You were born at week 33, which means you were born almost 7 weeks early! Your Daddy and I are so thrilled that you are here though.  We have had quite a whirlwind in the past 28 days.  You have grown so much but are giving us a crash course in preemie care.  You came home from the NICU after 17 days and the doctors and NICU nurses wished you well and said that you were a healthy little boy.

You took your first car service ride home from the hospital. Your Daddy and I don't have a car because you don't need one when you live in Manhattan, so we had to call a car service to take you home.  It was terrifying and fun at the same time.  We bundled you up and covered you in a beautiful blanket that Auntie Jennifer made for you.  When we got you home, we set you down and stared and you.  "Now what?" we both thought.  We decided to introduce you to Noodles.  She is our fur baby, and she thought we had brought her home a squeaky toy... and well, when we bring home squeaky toys for her, she tries to extract the squeaker, so we were a little nervous about her reaction.  But within a few days she figured out you were part of the pack and has been a little angel.  She just wants to sniff and lick your head.

We had to delay this post a bit because on your one month birthday, we had to begin preparations for what people were calling "frankenstorm".  Hurricane Sandy had made its way up the east coast and hit our area on Monday night.  Your Aunt Jan was here in New York City to meet you, and then she got stranded here because of the storm.  But we were unscathed during the storm and you were none the wiser.  There is a lot of devastation here in New York, and we wish there was more we could do to help the people suffering because of the storm, but you are the center of our world right now buddy.

Aunt Jan is the first relative you have met!  She helped me so much and it was just nice to have her here to meet you and lend a hand.  We were stuck in the apartment for a good portion of her visit, but since our goal was just to hang out with you, it seemed like a fine time.

I can't believe how big you have gotten in such a short time.  You are eating like a CHAMPION. You are very clear with your needs and let us know when you are hungry, but you are also a very agreeable guy and are very easy going at the same time.

I love you so much buddy... I think I am still in shock that you are already here, I feel a bit unprepared for you, but you are such an amazing little guy and I am learning so much from you!

xo,

Mommy

Numbers

Yesterday, I would have been 37 weeks pregnant
On Sunday, you will be 4 weeks old, 28 days old
You were born at 33 weeks, 7 weeks early
You spent 17 days in the NICU
We've had you home for 9 days
You've already gained 1 pound
Sometimes you eat every 3 hours and sometimes only 1 hour
I was going to count diapers and loads of laundry, but the fog in my brain set in, so there are no numbers
The days have turned into an endless list of times you eat, poop and pee
Literally, I'm keeping a list.
I love you more each second that ticks by

Dishwasher... Goodbye.

This is our dishwasher, sitting in front of our building.  We have not had great luck with our kitchen in the past 8 months.  You might remember that the gas in our building broke back in April so we couldn't cook for 4 months while I was pregnant.  Well, a few days before I went into labor, our dishwasher broke.  So, in between commuting to the hospital to see and hold our beautiful boy, and pumping every three hours, we've had to wash dishes.

Yesterday, our Super surprised us with a brand new one! Whew!

So goodbye old dishwasher.....may you be hauled away soon.

Pillow?

Noodles likes to cuddle and is terribly confused by my belly. She wants to leap on it and dig on it to make it more comfy likes she does with pillows.... clearly this is not a welcome event for me or the Tater Tot, so she is only allowed to put her head on the belly, which she does and then she pouts.  

Please No...

Please don't take my Giraffe... I loves him.  I promise I won't take his squeaker out.

Hormonal Morning Rant

I had the luxury of getting a seat on the subway this morning. It is always
hard during rush hour since there are just more people on the subway, but in the
past few weeks, since I have started to really "look" pregnant, I'm usually
offered a seat. I can honestly say that I was stunned this morning while
sitting in my seat how rude people were around me.

A woman, who was obviously pregnant got on the subway, and was standing about two
people away from where I was sitting. This was not one of those "Is the pregnant
or maybe just fat?" situations... This was a "Is she pregnant, or is she carrying
a large watermelon in her shirt?" kind of look. And well, if you think woman
ride the subways with watermelons stuffed in their shirts, I guess you've
got bigger problems. Sooooo this woman was clearly pregnant. After giving it a
second, NOT ONE PERSON around me stood up to offer her a seat! Not the young
20 something man next to me, not the comfy looking 30 year old woman on the
other side of me, not the two business man across from me... no one. Now, I
know... sometime we get engrossed in a good book, or we are hitting that next
high level in Angry Birds... but COME ON PEOPLE not one of you noticed the woman
standing in front of you, CLEARLY PREGNANT???

Seriously, she might have corns on her feet that she's never experienced because
she is carrying more weight than ever before. She might have suddenly sprouted
hemorrhoids and is uncomfortable no matter what she does. Her back might be
killing her. Maybe she didn't sleep all night because she was up 5 times
going to the bathroom, or her body hurt and she couldn't get comfortable,
or the baby decided to play gymnastics in her belly all night, or she was up crying
most of the night because she realized she doesn't know how to swaddle a baby
and that skill might be the only thing that saves her from the depths of terrible parenting.
I don't know what this woman was going through, but let's just say it could have been any of
these. BUT NO ONE OFFERED HER A SEAT!

So I did.

Now, I am 31 weeks pregnant. But I was feeling ok this morning, and she was
clearly further along that I was, and I had already had a seat for the past 6
subways stops, so I figured I'd share my good fortune and give her my seat,
SINCE NO ONE ELSE DID. But when I stood up, she shook her head and said, "no
way, you are pregnant too!". So we exchanged the "how far along?" "you look
great" pleasantries within earshot of the idiots sitting around me and then I
sat back down. And then I was uncomfortable, and then I was mad, and then just
sad. Not one person cared that she is carrying a little life in there and
cooking that little life is exhausting and she might benefit from a seat.

So, my advice to you.... GIVE HER YER DAMN SEAT! Look up people and see all of
the wonderful humans standing around you every once in a while. I have lived in
New York City for 14 years, I understand, that time on the subway can be
difficult, or it can be the only time for you to read that good book you've been
wanting to read forever, or it can be the only time you can prepare yourself for
your hard work day, or your getting off the late shift and you are tired and ready
for bed... whatever, I get it. But please notice the people around you. Notice
that older woman who struggles to hold on to the higher bar. Notice that guy
with the cast on his leg who looks able bodied but is having a bad month.
Notice the happy, sad, excited faces around you. And please, notice the pregnant
woman standing right in front of you.

Relaxing on the Stomach

My wonderful husband gifted me a prenatal massage!  I made my appointment for this Labor Day weekend. I was oddly a little nervous about going.  Not exactly sure why, except that my body just doesn't feel like my own, so I wasn't sure how this was going to go.  Sleeping is odd, walking is odd, sitting is more than odd, everything feels odd, so I figured that a massage might also feel odd and work opposite than its intention.  So, needless to say I was a little trepidatious about the appointment.  

Well, there was no need.  It was AMAZING.  First off, I love spas.  I love tossing on a robe and slippers and sitting in a quiet room and eating dried fruit and drinking lemon water.  I don't know why, I just love it.  Second bonus to this trip.... I was given the option of laying on my stomach!!!!! What?  They have this special massage bed with a trampoline belly area, so they said if I was comfortable, I could lay on my belly for the massage.  Well, I am a stomach sleeper, and have MISSED laying on my stomach so much that I dream about doing it.  So, I opted to lay on my belly.  The therapist left me in the room to get into position and I promptly hopped up on the bed and my butt fell into the hole for my belly. After some very uncomfortable maneuvering, I finally got into position and it was heaven.  She came back in and massage was under way!  It was very surreal.... for more than a 1/2 hour, I didn't feel pregnant.  It was crazy, and odd.  

So, I highly recommend.  It was such a treat.  Thanks Husband!

Where we going?

Mommy got this stroller thingy... She says it's for the Tater Tot, whatever that is.  I think we should take it for a spin!

Riddle.....

Q: How many times in an eight hour work day can a woman who is 23 weeks pregnant go to the bathroom?

A: 24

Q: How much work will said pregnant woman get done in this same eight hour work day?

A: none

Flying Hormonal Fish!

Craving sushi today, so I decide to go get myself a california roll, which is on the approved list....

I go into my sushi store at 30 Rock and the guy recognizes me, is very friendly and asks where I've been.  Feeling bad that haven't been in 5 months, I explain that I am pregnant, but really wanted a california roll. He is full of congratulations, but then stops with a stricken look on his face and says "you can't eat this!  Flying Fish Roe!" and points to the outside of the rolls, where, in fact there is orange fish roe.  He immediately tells his sushi chef to make me a new roll with no roe. 

I thank him and stand off to the side waiting for my sushi and begin to cry because for some reason, in this moment, I believe that I almost killed my unborn baby and was moments away from making such a grave mistake, I start mumbling to myself "how could you not know about fish roe!"

 On a positive note, sushi delish....

Getting to know you....

The Tater Tot is very active in the mornings before I crawl out of bed.  Noodles is very cuddly in the mornings as well.  These days, Noodles likes to cuddle up with my belly while I sleep.  These days, as Noodles curls up next to me, once her breathing slows down and that is all I can feel up next to my belly, then I can feel the kick kick of the Tot.  Noodles breaths, Tot kicks, then Noodles kicks and shifts, then the Tot kicks. Eventually, Noodles will look up at me like "what the heck is going on in there?" and shift over to Daddy's side of the bed.  But it has become a fun ritual in the mornings for the growing pack.

Dear Bladder,

I get it, you are feeling a bit crowded, well you are not the only one.  I am sure it is hard to do your job properly while in this new home shifted from where you used to be, with less space than normal.  But please, work with me here.... Try not to give me false emergency notices.  I have to work too, and I can't be running off every time you think there is an emergency, especially if you can't produce in the end.  I appreciate this is new territory for you, it is for me too.  It is like the Twilight Zone down there, I get it.  Just hold on and I promise this will get better, someday.

Thanks so much for your cooperation in this matter.

Sincerely,

The Brain

Mini-Vacay

We went down to beautiful Cape May, NJ last weekend to attend a lovely wedding.  We'd never been been and were so happy to arrive on such a beautiful beach.  Noodles had to stay in doggy day care over the weekend and didn't get to enjoy the great weekend with us, but she made some friends, so she had a nice time.  I was happy to still fit in my swimsuit, whew!

Goodbye Mattress, Hello Sleep!

Our new mattress was delivered yesterday and it is pretty darn awesome.  It is also like 12 feet high! I have to leap to get up there, and Noodles has no hope... the staircase isn't even close.

Here is our old mattress sitting outside, cause that's what ya do in New York...wrap it in plastic and stick it outside....

Five Fingers Five Toes and a Transporter

So, let me start by saying this is not easy and I have been a nervous nelly.
Not that strange for me to be nervous since I seriously don't like the "unknown"
and pregnancy is wrought with the UNKNOWN!  I thought this was one of those
things that every woman in the world had done, so it was all known!  Nope....
most people say things like "its different for everybody" and "I never had that,
but it is probably totally normal".  What?  Terrifying.

I am exaggerating of course, and if you know me, that statement isn't a shocker
at all.  I am 16 weeks in and I have no idea what is going on.  The only thing
that keeps me calm is the appointments with my very dry and humorless doctor
where I either get to see the Tater Tot or hear the heartbeat.  Then I can
breath and all seems right with the world, for he next 24 hours at least.

Noodles has been fascinated with me in a new way for the last 3 months.  She has
been overly cuddly, not that she isn't normally cuddly, but she seems
'concerned' about me, which freaks me out because I assume she knows more than
me with her super-sonic nose and what not.  Speaking of her nose, she has
started to sniff my belly, then she looks up and me like "what is going on in
there?" again, look of concern that makes me concerned and we are back to
nervous nelly stage.  The husband thinks I am crazy of course, but that isn't
actually new.

Here is a recent conversation while I was in a bit of a panic stage

Me: Um, I don't think the baby is in there anymore.

Husband: huh?

Me: Yeah, I think it might have left....

Husband: What do you mean, left?

Me: I don't know, maybe it has a transporter and it went somewhere else.... but
I am not sure it is in there anymore.

Husband: (long pause while he stares at me) I think you should stop talking and
go to sleep, you might need a nap.

He was right, I needed a nap.

Almost....

 This bird ALMOST pooped on us.... As we were walking tonight, we paused and then PLOP, a huge poop right in front of us.  Noodles could not figure out where it came from, but I spied the culprit.

Weekend walk

The pack took a walk in Central park last weekend and we happened upon some softball.... The husband loves to watch softball, so Noodles and I settled down in the grass while he cheered on a random team.  I got to rest and Noodles found and ate a french fry, so everyone wins!

Amazing

Out walking Noodles this weekend and caught a quick picture of the sun in Riverside Park.  It has been such beautiful weather.  I can't believe I am going to say this, but after years of hating New York snowy winters, I kind of missed it.  We have had such a mild winter, it felt like home in California. 

Delete Out of Office Notice

Been away, but trying to come back.  Got busy and distracted.  Then overwhelmed with how to start back up, so I am letting go of that, and just jumping in, with nothing to say except, hello again!